PsychoSexual

Only not quite that kind of "psycho" and not quite that kind of "Sexual"

Posts tagged asexuality

3 notes

Narcissists and the Sex Agenda

letmereach:

Narcissists and the Sex Agenda

Black and White Couple

Sex and intimacy are important in any mutually loving relationship.  And while they are both separate elements to a successful connection with a partner, today’s focus will be on the subject of sex.  And Narcissists.

Narcissists and sex.

For many of you reading this article, you may have felt a twinge of dread, sadness, anger, shame…or a combination of these emotions.

Why?

Because to the…

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Ookay, so I’ve found this blog to be very insightful & it must take a lot to write about this sort of thing after experiencing it, but there’s something in the first paragraph under “Cerebral (often covert)” that I just have to criticize….

And while they can put on a decent show in the bedroom in the beginning, they quickly turn into the asexual that they truly are.

Why is “asexual” so menacingly mentioned here like it’s some evil, hallmark trait of an abusive narcissist? Maybe you/the writer simply had no idea what asexuality means. In that case, an asexual is someone who is simply not sexually attracted to anyone - it describes sexual orientation (or ‘lack’ of one)

Lack of sexual attraction to anyone alone is not inherently abusive, narcissistic or malicious at all. And for that matter, being nonsexual in anyway is not at all inherently abusive, narcissistic or malicious either.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are asexual narcissists out there who absolutely do operate exactly how you describe, but that does not mean it should be implied that asexual people typically behave this way  (ironically I can’t tell you how often I hear of cases or fears of being [sexually] abused because of their asexuality) or that someone’s asexuality must somehow be related to them being abusive, narcissistic or even just looking down on sexuality. 

Luckily I’ve never been trapped in an abusive/narcissistic relationship  so I’m not the best person to be commenting on this, but there is no way in hell I was going to let this go by when I know too damn well that  asexual people too often have to deal with being pathologized & misunderstood due to their asexuality. 

With all that said, I just hope that this sentence gets tweaked so asexual (and generally nonsexual) people are not thrown under the bus.

(P.S. If not too much, starting off with SEX and intimacy are important in any mutually loving relationship. already puts a very unhealthy standard of intimate relationships for people who are uncomfortable with or don’t desire sex…so if you could just cut that small part out too, it would mean so much for the community).

Filed under asexuality misrepresentation relationships

48,596 notes

oryxofelia:

I’m about to cry. My 60 year old mother watched a netflix documentary and only just now found out she’s asexual. I’ve been trying to figure out how to bring up this idea to her for years. I am so glad to hear her, she’s so happy and saying “there really is nothing wrong with me!” I didn’t realize it wore on her like that. God bless the internet.

(via asexualexperiences)

Filed under why visibility matters asexuality LGBTQA

67 notes

ff-lgbt:

Via The Sociological Cinema:

Celibacy and asexuality are two very different things. Celibates are people who may have sexual attraction, but refrain from sexual activity, whereas asexuals have no sexual desires with any gender. Not all asexuals are celibate.

Check also videos from GirlfriendsTV:

DO ASEXUALS MASTURBATE?
DO ASEXUALS HAVE SEX?
ASEXUAL LESBIAN / ROMANTIC ORIENTATION


That picture is so confusing. It makes it look like asexuality is anti-heterosexuality or not having a gender or something. Then again, I have no idea what a picture of sexual attraction should look like. Just hope people aren’t getting a glimpse of it & get the wrong idea.

ff-lgbt:

Via The Sociological Cinema:

Celibacy and asexuality are two very different things. Celibates are people who may have sexual attraction, but refrain from sexual activity, whereas asexuals have no sexual desires with any gender. Not all asexuals are celibate.

Check also videos from GirlfriendsTV:

DO ASEXUALS MASTURBATE?

DO ASEXUALS HAVE SEX?

ASEXUAL LESBIAN / ROMANTIC ORIENTATION

That picture is so confusing. It makes it look like asexuality is anti-heterosexuality or not having a gender or something. Then again, I have no idea what a picture of sexual attraction should look like. Just hope people aren’t getting a glimpse of it & get the wrong idea.

Filed under asexuality celibacy

1,167 notes

dearnonacepeople:

Just an idea. Reblog if you’re asexual/ace spectrum, then go check out other people who have reblogged this. Send them an ask, follow if you like them. Make connections. Build community. This will help strengthen many asexual blogs so that when the revolution occurs we can rise up and claim what’s rightfully ours.

-Ezzy

(via dearnonacepeople)

Filed under asexuality

343 notes

A brief lesson on polysemy.

the-gilded-masquerade:

Here is a list of random words that have more than one definition:

  • pupil
  • nail
  • confound
  • type
  • rear
  • stream
  • hearing
  • drive
  • block
  • circuit
  • shock
  • light
  • boot
  • more
  • ruler

In short, any argument against people using the term asexual to name a valid sexual orientation simply because it is also used to describe a specific type of reproduction is inherently bullshit. 

(via dearnonacepeople)

Filed under asexuality words sexuality language

347 notes

An asexual with a libido and it’s that time of the month

heavens-demon:

Me: *playing game*

Vagina: hey

Me:

Vagina: hey.

Me: what

Vagina: I want to breed

Me: no

Vagina: let me breeeeed

Me: I said no

Vagina: c’moooon. I want to bear children.

Me: I don’t want to. I’m busy.

Vagina: ugh. Come. On. I’m gonna keep annoying you.

Me: fine. Do you have anyone in mind?

Vagina: no

Me: exactly. Now shut up.

Vagina: I want to breed though.

Me: I don’t want to. I don’t have anyone in mind, neither do you, nor do I have interest in these… things… I don’t want to SPAWN a child.

Vagina:

Me:

Vagina: Touch me.

Me: no.

Vagina: why

Me: I’m busy gaming

Filed under asexuality libido sex drive perfect I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this on my period

5,725 notes

strongwillstrongwont:

queerascat:

dearnonacepeople:

dearnonacepeople:

Any one else terrified that this has more notes than almost anything else in the asexual tag, and most of them are supporting this statement.
-coulson-fangirl

Can we possibly get more notes on this than they did because this is one of the highest notes ive seen on the tags and it shows ace people a really depressing idea that there will always be more ignorant and intolerant people than allies and that would’ve been so damaging to me when first realizing I was ace.
-Ezzy

tw: ignorance; acephobia/aphobia

No no that op doesn’t go far enough.
Are you happy, all the time? No? You are not gay then.
Lesbians? Are you from the isle of Lesbos? Don’t be an idiot
Bisexuals? Are you a plant with multiple sex characterics? I didn’t think so. Plants don’t read.
And Straight, what does that even mean? Do you walk in laser like lines? Have incredibly erect posture?

strongwillstrongwont:

queerascat:

dearnonacepeople:

dearnonacepeople:

Any one else terrified that this has more notes than almost anything else in the asexual tag, and most of them are supporting this statement.

-coulson-fangirl

Can we possibly get more notes on this than they did because this is one of the highest notes ive seen on the tags and it shows ace people a really depressing idea that there will always be more ignorant and intolerant people than allies and that would’ve been so damaging to me when first realizing I was ace.

-Ezzy

tw: ignorance; acephobia/aphobia

No no that op doesn’t go far enough.

Are you happy, all the time? No? You are not gay then.

Lesbians? Are you from the isle of Lesbos? Don’t be an idiot

Bisexuals? Are you a plant with multiple sex characterics? I didn’t think so. Plants don’t read.

And Straight, what does that even mean? Do you walk in laser like lines? Have incredibly erect posture?

(via dearnonacepeople)

Filed under perfect asexuality

184 notes

fallingivy:

Talking about asexual crushes to people off the internet is so unnecessarily hard. I explain how it’s basically how I find every aspect of someone so lovable that I just want to sit on a couch and snuggle with them all day and watch movies with them and hold hands and talk and talk and talk. And then they go: “But what happens after that?”

And I go: “That’s it. Me, a couch, snuggle.” It stumps them. They honestly can not picture that situation not escalating into something sexual, and if it doesn’t, not being disappointed about it or let-down. That snuggling on a couch is literally the high point of my affections is just…alien to them. 

And then I get the question: “But what do asexuals do on dates?” like apparently everyone only has sex on their dates, each and every one of them, and by that point I just want to bark: “WE LIGHT OFFERINGS TO SATAN.”

It is weird that so many people apparently can’t find any inherent enjoyment in nonsexual intimacy at all.

Like, I get sex is important & really enjoyable for a lot of people, but is that really the only pleasure you get out of a relationship? Is doing anything else with your partner nothing but a waste of time if it doesn’t end in sex?

And yet we’re the sad ones for being able to totally be content with doing an array of things with people that don’t solely rely on sex……go figure.

And you really should say that satan thing next time someone asks you about dating….you know….just for the hell of it.

Filed under asexuality relationships intimacy sex dating

52 notes

somepeopleareasexualgetoverit:

Definitely the way Asexuals feel. For me so anyway!
Reblogged.

I remember seeing this posted on AVEN. It’s such an excellent way of explaining it, but I don’t think it should be seen as the one-size-fits-all asexual’s perspectives on sex since some of us are capable of enjoying it & for some of us there really is a fear factor to sex. It’s definitely something to communicate one on one with your partner before looking up your own answers to try to describe them.
Also, I don’t think this perspective should be thought of as being exclusive to the asexual community. 

somepeopleareasexualgetoverit:

Definitely the way Asexuals feel. For me so anyway!

Reblogged.

I remember seeing this posted on AVEN. It’s such an excellent way of explaining it, but I don’t think it should be seen as the one-size-fits-all asexual’s perspectives on sex since some of us are capable of enjoying it & for some of us there really is a fear factor to sex. It’s definitely something to communicate one on one with your partner before looking up your own answers to try to describe them.

Also, I don’t think this perspective should be thought of as being exclusive to the asexual community. 

(Source: starklyinaccurate)

Filed under sex mixed relationships attitude ace asexuality chores