Posts tagged asexuality
Posts tagged asexuality
Definitely the way Asexuals feel. For me so anyway!
I remember seeing this posted on AVEN. It’s such an excellent way of explaining it, but I don’t think it should be seen as the one-size-fits-all asexual’s perspectives on sex since some of us are capable of enjoying it & for some of us there really is a fear factor to sex. It’s definitely something to communicate one on one with your partner before looking up your own answers to try to describe them.
Also, I don’t think this perspective should be thought of as being exclusive to the asexual community.
Mom: So do you two share cooking duties?
Me: Actually, Idra does most of the cooking.
Mom: Oh! So she’s like the woman?
Mom: And you’re the asexual?
[A screenshot from the Weather Channel’s webite depicting an article called “Could we survive without sex?”]
Okay, so I’m not asexual at all so I can’t exactly relate to or understand the frustration, but I’m pretty certain that this is what people who are asexual are talking about when they say that they feel completely alienated by the expectation that everyone needs sex all the time.
For fuck’s sake, this is the fucking WEATHER CHANNEL.
Just in response to that article……
No, no we couldn’t survive without sex.
I’m a 21 year old who never had sex. I was concerned about this, so I told my gyn about my virginity status after asking me if I was sexually active. He asked me if I planned on having sex any time soon to fix this.
I said no.
He gave me 2 more weeks to live.
Really, HOW IS THIS FUCKING NEWS?!?
I have to present a powerpoint to the GSA explaining asexuality. I already did this last semester & I rehearsed for that one, but still my anxiety kind of got the best of me at one point. I don’t even have time to rehearse for it this semester but at least I know what I’m talking about. I just hope I keep myself more composed this time.
Any tips on calming down while in front of a room full of people?
EDIT: I wanted to say thanks to everyone who gave advice but I can’t seem to reblog their replies for some reason :(
So if you’re reading, thanks you guys
Note to self: find better “thanks” gifs
It’s National Coming Out Day, so I felt like sharing some (hilariously awkward) coming out stories with you guys. (Shorter versions of some of these got published in Asexuality Archive’s “Asexuals on Coming Out: Experiences.”)
The second time I ever came out, it was to my partner (who, at that point, I somehow believed was straight), and I was so freaked out and generally upset that I started crying all over his shirt. I think I said something along the lines of, “There’s something you should know about me… I’m not actually into people…that way,” and he said, “Me neither,” and I got even more nervous than before which apparently made me weirdly belligerent or something? So I started arguing, “NUH-UH, I AM WAY LESS ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE THAN YOU ARE,” and he was all, “No, I don’t think you understand how little I am attracted to people,” and I was like, “DUDE, I AM WAY LESS ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE.” Anyway, after some continued nonsensical dialogue on my part, it came to light that both of us were ace and had somehow believed the other person was straight. There was a lot of hugging and shaking and saying, “WHAT” over and over.
Moral of the story: Uh, don’t argue with your partner about his attractions because you are probably wrong?
Awww that first story made me feel all fuzzy inside :3 I can’t even imagine how excited/happy/relieved they were when it finally hit both of them.
There’s nothing wrong, sexual orientation & sex drive are 2 different things.
Your craving for sexual stimulation can be rampant, but that doesn’t change the fact that nobody invokes it or there’s anyone you’d like to have sex with it because of it if you were asexual.
I dunno, I thought this was made very clear several times by several people including Ace Secrets…I don’t see why people, especially asexuals, still seemed to be so confused about this =/
(Resubmitting for image description.)
[Image description: Two rows of three, explaining different types of attraction with a small picture to accompany each.
Sexual Attraction: Sexual attraction is a feeling that sexual people get that causes them to desire sexual contact with a specific other person.
Romantic Attraction: Romantic attraction is a feeling that causes people to desire a romantic relationship with a specific other person.
Crushes: A crush is a romantic attraction to someone, a desire for a romantic relationship of some kind, a desire that is possibly temporary in nature, possibly never to be acted upon.
Squishes: A squish is an aromantic crush, a desire for a strong platonic relationship with someone.
Sensual Attraction: A desire to do sensual (but not sexual) things with certain people, especially relating to tactile sensuality such as cuddling.
Aesthetic Attraction: An attraction to other people that is not connected to a desire to do anything with them, either sexually or romantically. They simply appreciate their appearance.]
Why are romantic attraction & crush listed as 2 different things? Putting aside that they both sound extremely vague & pretty inaccurate for a number of people/cases, it looks like it’s describing the same exact thing. I don’t understand why it’s considered 2 different attractions here.
I also really hate that a squish is described as an “aromatic crush”. It looks like it can easily be interpreted like the attraction is limited to aromantics for one thing…..I used to like this poster, but the more I look at it the more I feel like I find more problems with it.
experiencing sensual attraction in the absense of sexual attraction
or liking nonsexual skin-to-skin contact for the textures
(or otherwise liking the textures of things like my partner’s skin and hair)
makes me akin to a serial killer
and makes me “a fucking freak”.
Edit: I’m also “(un)fucked in the head” and “too creepy for the internet.”
That awkward moment when anti-ace prejudice is also anti-autistic prejudice.
…..I just don’t get this. As far as I can tell they’re the ones making it sound creepy. If anything they’re the ones who are twisted. I mean really, who else would make a link to that & being homicidal unless you regularly make creepy associations with it for I-don’t-even-want-to-think-about reasons?
I want to know how to say asexual in ASL. Does anyone have any clue?
I know the basic LGBTQ terms but not that one and I’m a bit nervous to ask my teacher.
I don’t think there is one, but that could just be because I’m not part of the Deaf community.
I was thinking that the handshape “a” or “x” (X being in reference to one of the Kinsey experiments) to the chin word work in relation to gays & lesbians using the handshapes “g” & “L”.
[Text: ”Maybe when you meet the right person, he/she will fix you.” asexualproblems.tumblr.com]
You know, I thought about this reply & it has some very disturbing implications when you think about it.
According to them, Mr/Ms Right is just about the “one” who ends up turning you on, who you want to have sex with, who makes you “normal”….but they say nothing about how they treat you as a person.
Lets say Alex here has never been sexually attracted to someone before. They know this, but doesn’t know anyone else like them even exists & may not be aware that it’s ok. So Alex is kind of worried about it explains this to someone & that someone gives them that line we just love hearing, “That will change when you meet the right person”. So Alex thinks “Ok, that makes sense…I guess.” Some time goes by & for whatever reason, be it sexual fluidity, “late blooming”, being grey - A or whatever, Alex does meet someone who they’re not only infatuated with, but also sexually attracted to. Even better, they find out this “Right” person’s feelings are mutual. So they decide to date & for a while it all seems to work out.
Of course Alex is thinking at this point that maybe it was true, maybe they just really needed the “right” person for their feelings to change….but then it slowly starts to dawn on them that Mr/Ms Right is actually a very manipulative/abusive/control freak of a partner. By the time Alex realizes how bad it is, they have no idea how to get out of it. And to make things worse, the “right” person over here knows the impact they have on Alex….
“You can’t leave me, I’m the one who made you normal……you’d be a freak of nature if it wasn’t for me….you would just be a waste of flesh. I’m the one who fixed you..”
Maybe it is unlikely that a scenario like this will happen, but I see no reason why it can’t.
You know something is wrong when what makes the “right person” just that has nothing to do with how they treat you, but rather is defined by the fact you must be sexually drawn to them. I’m sure they didn’t mean it, I’m positive it didn’t even cross their minds when they said it….partially because nobody likes to think about it, but it sounds like being “fixed” is more important than having a sense of self-worth, security & an overall healthy, functional relationship….even if that relationship meant no sex.